There are three things I've kept coming back to, even after 37 years of leadership

I've been thinking about something recently.

I've spent 37 years leading.

I've led teams. I've developed leaders. I've coached people. I've made good decisions, and I have made some terrible ones too. I've been challenged, encouraged, trusted and occasionally told things I didn't particularly want to hear.

I've learned from people who believed in me before I really believed in myself, and I've learned from moments when I realised I needed to change.

The longer I lead, the more convinced I am that leadership isn't primarily about learning more techniques.

It's about becoming a different kind of leader.

And there are three things I keep coming back to.

1. Lead Yourself Well

Leadership starts much closer to home than we sometimes realise.

What's happening in your head? What are you saying to yourself about yourself and your ability to lead?

What's happening in your heart?

What emotions are influencing the way you respond to people?

What are you afraid of? What are you trying to prove? What are you avoiding?

I've had to become much more honest about these questions.

One of the prayers I've returned to is Psalm 139:

"Search me, God, and know my heart."

It sounds like a beautiful prayer until you actually start allowing God to answer it.

I've had moments when God has shown me things I didn't particularly want to see ~ selfishness, cynicism, the desire to show off.

Self-awareness isn't about becoming obsessed with yourself. It's about becoming honest enough to recognise what's happening inside you so that you can learn to lead yourself better.

That's why Lead Yourself Well is foundational to the Lead You Collective.

We will explore belief, values, boundaries, self-awareness, consistency, emotional maturity and the spiritual practices that help us become the leaders we want to be.

Because you can't lead others well if you're unwilling to lead yourself.

2. Lead From Behind

I've also had to unlearn some of what I thought leadership looked like.

For a long time, leadership could easily become about being out front.

Having the answer. Making the decision. Being the person people came to. Being needed.

However, I've discovered sometimes the most significant thing I can do as a leader is create space for someone else.

Trust them.

Listen to them.

Let them make the decision.

Let them do something differently from how I would.

Maybe even let them get the credit.

This is what I mean by Lead From Behind.

As I have written about before, this isn't passive leadership, it's not avoiding responsibility.

It's about being secure enough to recognise leadership isn't about keeping ourselves at the centre.

I've had to confront my own need to be needed because if my identity becomes tied to being indispensable, I'll find it very difficult to let other people grow.

The goal isn't to be needed forever.

The goal is to help other people flourish.

3. Develop Others

The third question I keep coming back to is:

Who is becoming a better leader because I've been part of their journey?

This question has changed the way I think about leadership.

Developing leaders isn't simply giving someone responsibility and hoping they figure it out.

It involves believing in people.

Creating opportunities.

Asking better questions.

Giving honest feedback.

Having difficult conversations when necessary.

Coaching rather than simply giving answers.

And sometimes believing in someone before they believe in themselves.

Thirty years ago, I created my first leadership development programme for young people. It was called Dreambuilders.

I had no idea then how much leadership development would become part of my life.

I've seen again and again how people grow when someone sees potential in them and creates the environment for that potential to develop.

Eventually, the goal is not that they become more like me, it's that they become the leader they were created to be.

These Three Things Belong Together

The more I think about these three areas, the more I realise they aren't three separate leadership techniques.

They're connected.

How I lead myself affects how I lead others.

How I lead others affects whether they have space to grow.

How I develop others determines what happens when I'm no longer in the room.

This is why I' am bringing these three ideas together in the Lead You Collective.

I'm not creating it because I think I've mastered these things.

Quite the opposite.

I'm creating it because I've spent 37 years learning them, getting them wrong, learning again and discovering leadership is a journey of continual growth.

I don't want to create another place where leaders just consume more leadership content.

I want to create a space where Christian leaders can be honest about where they are, grow in identity, health, courage and freedom, and become better equipped to help other people flourish.

A place where you can Lead Yourself Well. Lead From Behind. Develop Others.

The Lead You Collective is planned to launch in January 2027, with a Founders community forming ahead of the launch.

And I'd love to build it with leaders who ask the same questions.

Reflection

Which of these three areas would make the biggest difference to your leadership right now?

Lead Yourself Well.

Lead From Behind.

Develop Others.

And perhaps the more uncomfortable question is this:

What would change if you actually gave that area the attention it needs?